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I think this not eating thing isn’t working because I can go two days but by the third I just binge.
I think since I see skinny people all over then I look in the mirror and see a monster I loose hope. It gets to me so bad all I do is binge. But I’m afraid to purge. Looks like I’m not loosening weight. I mean I work out every day. I get no results.
my stomach feels like it is turning against me. It hates me. It keeps telling me how imperfect i am … and all because i ate pretzels, trail mix and one piece of cheese today. I hate this. I hate this constant battle.
BUT what i hate most is that hatred of the disease but the fear to let it go, the fear of having to gain weight when i know that all i want is to lose more…
